childfree me

Why I am childfree

I am a passionate person and choice is important to me. I choose my friends, I choose my family, I choose my faith, I choose my career, I choose my husband, I choose where my life will go.

I chose to be childfree for a variety of reasons. I have a poor constitution, it actually runs in the family. My mother and my grandmother were both often ill. If I were to be a parent, I would want to be a great parent, play with the children all the time, focus on them. I have no doubt my health issues would affect children. I am a busy person, I dedicate myself fully to each pursuit I follow. I spend time daily doing private religious observances, and I spend time once or more peer week doing group religious activities. I am a part time student and tutor in a professional certificate program at a community college. I play roleplaying games twice a week. And I work full time as a professional. I fill my other time doing art and spending time with my friends and my cat.

I like children, some children. I choose which children I will spend time with and when. I mentor a child once a week on her lunch break at school, she is 9, I love her. If you don’t volunteer your time doing something for the greater good yet, I highly recommend it, just an hour a week and I feel like a part of the community rather than separate from it. I spend time with children who are in my faith. The group raises them steeped in the faith, they participate in functions. One of the little girls calls me her big friend. I really adore her, my little friend. When they are singing along, or helping with the candles it is really great knowing I am helping raise them.

I live a childfree life and I don’t feel guilty. I give exactly the amount of energy I want to give and can give to children and the community. When I am tired and need to pull away, no one is relying on me, I can do so without guilt.

I think it is a selfless choice to choose not to have children. Most people who don’t want to be parents do so for good reasons. People who do not want to be parents are not likely to make good parents. Parents these days face challenges in parenting that are hard to meet. I can’t imagine being the filter between the child and the internet, the child and advertising in the schools, the child and fast food, the child and the terrible wars and violence in our society, the child and sexual predators. And the forecasts for affording your child’s college are beyond what most folks can afford month to month, it is more demanding than saving for retirement because you have less time to raise the money. I want to retire in comfort, I don’t want to spend all my money investing in a child who might grow up to hate me and leave me in a nursing home in Jersey anyways. I won’t even get into the environmental impact more people create, it is huge, even if you raise your child simply and with environmental values, whose to say they won’t turn around and go crazy corporate the day they are old enough to rebel.

I am retaining my choice. And I am happy about that. Thanks.